Wednesday, July 29, 2015

Big Texas Hair in the Middle of Sha- Nowhere

I feel it is only fair that I warn y'all right up front about today's post. Grab a notebook and some pens to take notes. Nothing but deep, thought provoking literature coming out of my mouth today, people. Words of wisdom that will change your life. Actually, it's just about my hair. I understand if you need to leave now :-)

As anyone who knows me can attest, I have major commitment issues with my hair. My heart is always saying yes to a long term relationship with a new hair style, but after a few months, the spark is just gone. I have the best of intentions to stay devoted, but my eye begins to wander and I find myself seriously considering foolish things- like mullets or spiral perms or going platinum blond. It is a long standing problem, folks.

So in the midst of Greece's economy tanking, the USA preparing for Pope Francis' visit in September, and the avian flu causing egg prices to sky rocket, this was my primary concern this morning:

 This silly little piece of flippy hair. Clearly, I am living a complicated, high pressure lifestyle. My industrial strength Chi  flattening iron could not tame it. My ultimate strength hairspray was useless. And it was driving me out of my mind.

My neighbor, Mimi, was the first to enlighten me to the fact that locals lovingly refer to my hometown as "Sha- Nowhere" instead of "Shamong". Apparently, it is because we are so far out in the sticks.

Luckily for me, even in Sha-Nowhere, there are professionals who know how to handle crazy women who think they can cut their own hair. You would think the "Pete Rose Episode" would have taught me how limited my barbering skills are, but evidently, my learning curve is a bit shallow. Thank you, Salon 541, for not judging me.

And when all was said and done, the ill mannered lock of hair paid the ultimate price. Each strand was now behaving and lining up like Rockettes in a chorus line.

And then I started thinking....
You know what they say..
when in Rome...

This could be a new chapter in the ongoing saga with my hair. A chance to rewrite the wrongs of my hair history 
and embrace the East Coast in a real and personal way. This style has a definite AquaNet feel to it. I am a seasoned veteran when it comes to aerosol hair products. Maybe I could make this work!

Or, maybe I could just go back to my tried and true Big Texas Hair.

Either way, I think Theresa would approve.

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