Tuesday, November 24, 2015

I'm Staking A Claim

One of my favorite bloggers, Shay from Mix and Match Mama, once did a post called "Owning It- Claiming the Crazy". It was a segment where she talked about all the honest and quirky things that made her uniquely who she is. It was delightful and funny to read. So as an homage to Shay, and because if anyone has quirky- it's me, here's my own version of Owning It. And don't worry, I'm definitely claiming my crazy.
1. I have a secret talent.
Try not to be jealous, but I can tie a pair of shoelaces with my toes- that's right, as in no hands. I'm not quite sure of when I actually realized I had this super power, all I know is it's come in handy on more than one occasion. During college, it allowed me to win enough bets that Cis and I knew the Taco Bueno menu by heart. I still miss those bean burritos - they were 89 cent perfection.

2. I will not eat anything that has even one speck of Cilantro in it.
Why is it that everyone loves cilantro? I just don't get it. I think it tastes like soap and I can tell if there's a single leaf in any dish served to me. Blech! Listen, I'm not a picky eater. I've eaten Rocky Mountain Oysters, haggis, and kimchi without missing a beat. But cilantro? Nope. Not happening. Not here. Not now. Not ever.

3. I am terrible with driving directions.
I am literally convinced Google Maps was made just for me. I have never been able to figure out how people can drive with directions like, "Turn North as you leave the intersection." Or, "Head West towards the airport." They might as well be speaking in Russian to me. I need specifics to get from point A to point B. I need something concrete like "Turn left at McDonalds." Now that's what I call directions.

4. I always make way too much cookies and candy at Christmastime.
I don't know why I have this compulsion, I know I just do. I eagerly look forward to the whole process each year. I like finding new candy recipes, buying the cute containers to put things in, figuring out which Christmas music to play while we're making everything. It's all good to me. In case you're still not sure what I mean when I say "too much", this is what I made from last year.  8 pounds of fudge, 6 pounds of peanut brittle, 6 dozen decorated sugar cookies, 3 dozen decorated gingerbread cookies, 5 dozen chocolate dipped peppermint sticks, and 4 pounds of peppermint bark.  I know, right? It's crazy, but at least I'm claiming it.

5. I once bleached a blond streak in my hair.
That doesn't seem too crazy, right? Except for this. I did it myself. And, employing all of my 18 year old logic, I used Sally Hansen Extra Strength Facial Hair Bleach to do the job. I did not allow the fact that it took me 5 applications to deter me from my task. I was determined to get that gorgeous blond tress. In the end, I was left with what was best described by my sweet Nanny.
Here she is. You can almost imagine her, looking at me with confusion and maybe a little bit of pity, saying "Well my goodness, Cindy Lou. Isn't that something? Did you mean for it to end up looking like a skunk?"

6. I am a master at accents.
I'm not talking about the stuff you might use to add a little somethin' somethin' to your dining room. I'm talking about the way people sound.  I can copy almost anyone's accent within 20 minutes or so of listening to them talk. Right now, I am killing it at almost anything Jersey or Long Island. The hardest part for me is not "slipping" into an accent by mistake. The last thing I would ever want to do is offend someone by appearing to make fun of them. That is never my intention, so I have to be careful.  It's just that I find accents so much fun to "try on".

7. I hate manicures and pedicures.
Do you remember that song from Sesame Street? The one that went, "One of these things is not like the others, one of these things just doesn't belong"?  Whelp, that's me in this group of lovely ladies. These girls all love getting their nails done. I, on the other hand, can think of nothing less relaxing than having someone pick at the cuticles of my hands and feet. Yes, I've tried it and no, I don't like it. I'll go and sit with you. I'll keep you company, but ain't nobody messing with my nails.


So there you have it- all my crazy conveniently located in one place for you. I hope I haven't scared you off.  Honestly, I'm basically harmless. But be careful around Christmas, because despite my best intentions, I have been known to accidentally throw a few people into a sugar coma. 










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